Another Christmas... gone

Gone. Two days ago. A bit like a wedding Christmas has, for some, a lot of prep, a lot of hype, a lot of cost. Then, like the last donut in the box, like a baby bird trained and ready for flight, like a spec of dust near the noisy hoover, it's gone. Gone with the wind.

What is all the hype about? Giving? Stress? Joy? Jesus? I heard from a reliable source recently that in the States, until 110 years ago Christmas was a non-event... until department stores saw the 'value' of it. 'Course it's been running for a good while around Europe. I believe it began with a great, rich guy called Nicholas who, on the 6th of December gave money to poor orphans to keep them out of slavery. That generosity got Nick a sainthood and as time went on the whole thing morphed into a celebration of Jesus' birth and then an opportunity to give things away to people - especially children - that we love.

Anyhow, this year at our house we didn't do Christmas. And you know what? There was nothing lost. No stress came and no hype died. 

I like Jesus and I like kids and I still like presents. But even without "Christmas" I had a great day with people I love. I didn't put on any weight or go into debt.

Main reason I'm writing is because lots of people get depressed after Christmas. So here's to say, you can look ahead to next Christmas and choose the option to opt out. We did and we're no worse for it. Perhaps better!

Disowned and Redeemed

At 24 I came to the LORD - God, Yaweh, Abba, I AM. Lot's of names. I like to call him "Creator of the Universe."
At 29 I was disowned by my family (for other reasons which may eventually come to light in this blog) - but God stuck with me.

I didn't have to please God (he's 'Father to the fatherless') though if I'd had a chance I would have reconciled with my dad - but he died less than a year after he disowned me. To a degree there was reconciliation with my mom - she's gone now too. None so far with my sibling though.
That's the disowned part.

The redeemed part is that I'm accepted by God and loved. And I want to do my best but not for love or acceptance but out of a desire to put into the WORLD Life! A positive pursuit.

I write, not because I have all the answers, but because God does and I have a lot of questions.

There's suicide out there and a lot of it seems to come from teens and twenty-somethings. I wanted out a number of times. But I'm passed that age and I'm still here and I'm SO glad I am. So sticking it out is worth it. NO MATTER WHAT!

At 16: I shouted at my dad. I remember distinctly saying to him, 'You say I've got so much wrong with me, but I get good grades and I don't come home drunk...' I stormed off.
A while later my mom came into my room and said, "Your dad says he's sorry."
God is Father to the fatherless.
Some don't even have dads. There are different ways of dads being absent.
But God's always present. And he's a great present (pun intended).

According to Mirriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary*
Disown = to refuse to acknowledge as one's own
and
Redeem = to buy back

Well, I was bought back by God before I was disowned. That helped me through the family rejection. But more, it means I belonged to Him in the first place, whether I knew it or not.

The pic shows a road. When I was about 26 I read THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED by Scott Peck (he's dead now too because he got old and sick like my parents). The book is fab. It starts off, 'Life is tough... when you realize that it becomes a lot less tough.'** (Loose translation)

We never really know the road ahead. But it goes on, whether we go on it or not. It may be curvy, or straight, it may be rocky or smooth. But it's worth staying on it. Life's always interesting. Always enlightening. Always challenging. Always worth the pursuit.
That's what I think.

Stick it. It's worth it!

*eleventh edition, Part of Encyclopedia Britannica
** Arrow Books, Part of Random House UK

When I'm afraid

I am 53. But still, from time to time, I get afraid.

The difference between when I used to fear and how I fear now is that I've practiced and I've learned the key to fear is control.
So when I'm willing to give up control, the fear (usually) dissipates.

If I can give up control to a trustworthy source then I know I'm safe and in 'good hands'. Of course at 53 my parents can't help (they are deceased now anyway) and I know the limitations of other adults, such as my husband or other good friends. Counselors can be helpful at pointing me to ways to think that will combat the control or fear.

But God, who is getting very little press these days - in light of His lack of political correctness - I have found to be ultimately trustworthy, all-powerful and loving.

So, when I trust in Him, my fear (usually) dissipates. Proverbs chapter 3 says, 'Trust in the LORD and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.'

What about the times when the fear doesn't go away? I confess, I put my hands up (figuratively) and say, "God, I surrender. I can't manage this on my own." It helps to talk to friends, even though they can't help. It helps me to keep the shame away and keep me in the present.  Fear after all, is laced with worry about the future.

If we can live in the present and share where we're at - with God, with friends and family - then we can keep fear at bay.

It's nearly Christmas. If you're afraid of something, how about giving yourself a gift? The gift of hope: that there's a God that's bigger (and more powerful) than your fears and he's actually interested in lightening your load.

                  Remember: Nothing's a waste; everything has a point. Keep in it for the long haul!


                       

What you can count on

The sun rises and sets, it always does, it always will. This is something you can count on.

When I was 20 I had a car accident. I was wounded - my back was injured but more than that my psyche did a nosedive. Actually, my psyche was a mess long before the car accident but just how messed up my head was became apparent in the unrestrained emotional discharge that came out of me after I regained consciousness.
I don't remember the accident, I don't remember unleashing. (I was told it was extreme.) But I've no doubt I did vent - that was a part of my character then.
Decades later I look back on the time that is now mostly a blur - and on others since - and say it's amazing I'm alive now. What can seem so significant one day can become a part of a blur that has passed - and is past.

The reason I'm writing this now is because I know people who are struggling. They are twenty-something. Some I know by name, others I don't. The people I'm writing to are disillusioned. And suffering because of it.
Suffering itself isn't what's bad. Suffering builds strength and character when we see it through. Pain does subside and stops. What I'm beefed about it the disillusionment. Where does that come from? Where did the illusion come from in the first place - that romance and dreams will all come to pass. They don't sometimes. And that doesn't mean we shouldn't have dreamed, it just means we should be taught that it's good to dream, better to try than not to try, but that the result may seem like a failure. But why isn't someone saying 'success isn't about the dream coming true but about having the courage to try'?
To those who are disillusioned, I want to urge you: don't give up hoping that you'll have your heart's desire. Rather, hope you will, and see where life takes you to develop the heart and the desire. Desire and hope aren't in our heads, they live in our hearts. And knowing our hearts is a journey of a lifetime, not a decade or two.
And in the meantime I say grip life as an adventure! We don't know how it'll turn out (that's what makes it an adventure), but if we care about others and look up at the sky, we'll get our minds off the disappointment and see the sun peeking out.

If we look out and we look up, we'll see much more of ourselves than if we look only inside.
And if we don't look at all, we'll miss the beauty that life has to offer.
Life is beautiful. The bits that seem ugly right now make the beauty that much brighter.