What is Love?

"Love is patient, love is kind, love does not keep a record of wrongs..."

Many couples have this text read at their weddings, at least in the West. It comes from the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13. The full definition of love, comprised in a few short lines (see below) encompasses the single most sought-after desire in the universe. We all need love. Insanity, even death grows when there is a lack of love in someone's life.

But what is love, in practical terms? How do I know if I'm loving 'enough' or worthy of the love I'm offered?

For me the benchmark for love is 'how far am I willing to go for someone else?' The more I'm willing to give/sacrifice/risk the greater my love. For example, I know I love my child and my husband a lot. I know this, not because I feel excited when I see them or enjoy their company, though I do. But I know I love them because I've put their interests, needs before my own on many occasions. I love myself too, as demonstrated by the (healthy) practice of sometimes putting my own needs first. And based on this marker of assessment, I love others too, but I confess it is on a sliding scale. Some people are just not as important to me as my husband or my son and so I give less to them.

But I am a Believer and Follower of Jesus and as such, I must also consider, how much do I love him? It's one of those questions Followers ask of themselves because it is a part of their faith to do so.
If my faith is sincere, will I give up everything for Jesus? Do I love him more than my hubby, my child, myself? From many pulpits we are encouraged to walk that walk if, indeed we profess 'Christianity'. But do I?

I have begun to read a book called "The Imitation of Christ" written in the fifteenth century. I only read the chapter headings and the introduction to discover, I don't love Jesus nearly as much as I thought I did before opening the cover of the book. The book has sparked in me the realization that what I profess and what I practice are not identical. While I know I'm loved by God anyway, it doesn't make me feel good to be less than I thought.

But as this blog is about being 'up with life' and 'living purposefully' I must get to the positive perspective of this post: Who I am may not be all I thought I was, but who I am is alright with God and Jesus' love shows me that. And although I may not be as sincere in my love as I thought I was, being honest with myself and continuing to aim to give up for others shows me I'm on the right track.

Being a hypocrite is easy; being perfect is hard. But being sincere in the effort to love and to receive love is the path that most of us are on and which is the path that leads to peace of mind, hope and good relationships.

My Family

So, what is love? Love is being patient, kind, honouring toward others and myself. If I can forgive myself my inconsistencies, I'm better able to forgive others theirs, and closer to being the loving person I want to be.

(1 Corinthians 13: Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends")

MEMOIRE

There are moments in our lives when we just have to draw in from what's going on and look back to see where we've come from to get the perspective that life is picking up!

When I was 30 life slammed me a big bucket of crap and what did I do? I observed. I was in shock at revelations of my passed that I'd buried deeply and efficiently way behind my memory. And shock saved me a lot of pain. I processed a history I'd forgotten I'd lived, an abusive history, and because I was in shock I intellectualized the ugly truth, which spared me emotional agony. And once I'd gotten used to the idea of what had been my young life at home, I finally could feel again and the feelings and the tears surfaced and were shed so that I could breathe and exists and thrive.

I'd lived under a cloud most of my life and I didn't even know there was sun! But repressed memories will surface when it's safe for us to cope.

I clung to 3 bits of wisdom through this:

SOAR! Glimpse from Far Above to See How Vast the Future Is

1. Have a small circle of friends you can count on to download a little every now and then. I believe I never burdened or dumped on anyone, but there were a handful of trusted friends I could go to, one-on-one, from time to time, just to share a piece I didn't want to carry. THANK YOU DEAR FRIENDS.

2. Believe and trust yourself. There will be the temptation to doubt but that's part of the cloud. You've stepped out so stay out! If you weren't strong enough to handle this, you wouldn't have made it this far. And anyway, truth sets us free to freedom is at hand.

3. Trust and believe in the Holy Spirit. Without Him, I can't imagine how I'd have coped. He gave me comfort and assurance beyond human understanding.

I've not described any gory details. None are necessary. The point is that life is truth and freedom. There is plenty of room for privacy but no need for secrecy or shame. You've come this far under a cloud. Imagine what lies in store without it!?



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